Thursday, October 30, 2008


Funniest. Thing. Ever.

Alright, if you don't know what 'RickRolling' is, it means you are probably a dinosaur. But because I love you anyway, here's the definition:

I had no idea Obama was such a great vocal stylist! :D

Friday, October 24, 2008

Kickin' it old school

I was thinking about the shitty double standards women face when it comes to sex and birth control. And really, it comes from one underlying theme.

Women are not supposed to enjoy sex. Sex is for women to provide, and men to enjoy. Thus, the idea of birth control is laughabe to people who think this way. Women are PUT ON THIS EARTH for sex, and makin' babies. THAT IS OUR PURPOSE. THE WHOLE THING. THERE IS NO MORE.

Y'know, there's nothing I hate more than when other people try to tell me what MY purpose is. Like I don't know waht's best for me, and that I don't know what my body is telling me.

I answer said douchebags with this:

I remember dancing to this song when I was twelve. I feel olllld.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

In Memorium

Two posts in one day. You lucky people you.

Here's a poem for the 'Culture of Life' crowd:

Dripping down
Red stains
Spreading like water can there be so much?
Why must I be punished?
Why am I not trusted to make my own decisions?

Why does God hate me so? life...
My future...

Explain to me why you advocate the deaths of all the women who WILL perish if Roe V. Wade is overturned, and how you can possibly call yourselves pro-LIFE in the bargain.

Fuck that noise.

A Mixed Bag of Color Commentary

GO JOE! Say what you want about the man, but at least he GENUINELY cares about women's issues. (Yes, conservative Republicans, I'm looking at YOU.)

Isn't it fantastic how the Republicans suddenly care about feminism? I They sure had me fooled! Allowing those with blatantly anti-woman views (Pat Buchanan, Rush Limbaugh) to ally themselves with him.

(Brief aside: Rush likes to talk about 'feminazis' a lot. Which means he's probably jerking off to some mental image of a bunch of us in thigh-high leather boots and skankified SS uniforms. And whips too, probably. There always seem to be whips.)

And OMG...on my drive to work, I see so many McCain/Palin signs that it's literally horrifying. I think my hair might actually be turning white from this. On the plus side, it's given us a clear signal of whose lawn we should TP this Halloween. ;) Bonus points if you hammer pegs into the lawn to spell out "Obama Rules!"

No, no, I don't actually advocate vandalism. I don't think it will help, but I feel a certain amount of schadenfraude in thinking about it. Look, I never said I was a nice woman.

Oh yeah....and a John McCain ad came in our mail today. No idea how that happened. I'm just impressed that it didn't burst into flames upon entering our home.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Women's Health is a joke to John McCain

Holy crap on a stick. This guy is un-fucking-believable.

Let's recap: John McCain thinks women are too stupid to be paid fairly. (I guess he thinks we should spend our time primping and having plastic surgery, like his wife.) He thinks we use our 'health' as an 'excuse' to undergo fucking MEDICAL PROCEDURES. (Bitch and moan about ideology all you want, at its technical base, abortion is a medical procedure. Fucking deal with it.)

So this is what you truly think of women, Senator McCain? Well, you can go jerk off to the American flag---your dumb ass is not getting my vote.

And guys? Barack, you pay attention too: the term is NOT partial-birth abortion. It's called Dialation and Extraction. (DE). And it's rare anyway, so I've never understood the point of this particular debate. Saying you're opposed to DE is like saying you're opposed to drinking curdled milk.

I'll post on the debate in full later on. Right now I need to go alleviate my rising blood pressure.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Obama is made of awesome

WHOOYEAH. I love Obama's calm, confident demeanor. THIS is what we need in a leader, peeps. Not a 'maverick', but someone who genuinely gives a shit about doing his job responsibly.

Don't get me wrong, I love their place. Which is the Old West. But Washington? Not so much.

I seem to recall another Washington outsider maverick-y type....someone who charmed the American people with his ability to seem like someone you could have a beer with. I also remember that, for eight years, it didn't go so well. We need someone who can truly perform this job with honor, compassion and responsibility.

I can't predict whether or not Obama can truly make things better. All I know is that he can keep them from getting worse.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

A Culture of Life

So I was reviewing the McCain-Palin position on choice. Oh yes. THAT choice.

I've always thought that McCain pretty much thought 'women's issues' to be beneath him. He's concerned with IMPORTANT things, you see. War and such. Because he so obviously doesn't give a shit, he's fucking dangerous.

Because he is more likely to let Palin handle all that, and we all know where SHE stands on this issue.

Apparently there is a place in hell reserved for women who don't help other women. Palin misquoted this statement in a recent speech.

If that's so, Sarah...looks like we're both going to the same place. Because I've reviewed your policies, read your interviews, and yes, even watched some of them. (I'm still cleaning vomit from my hair.) And you have yet to do ANYTHING that helps other women.

And then there's this bullshit about a 'culture of life'. I've always know that conservatives revere fetuses (feti?) as sacred. What they don't touch on is what they think of the women said fetuses reside in.

There are a shitload of stupid assumptions on women who seek abortions. That they're slutty. They shouldn't have had sex if they didn't want babies. They should have thought of that before. They're irresponsible. That they'll just use it as an excuse to be promiscuous, and as a source of birth control. These are just some, and some of the nicer ones at that.

First off, the 'slut' issue. Stay the fuck out of my Fallopian tubes, Government. You have no place telling me not to have sex if I don't want babies. Why not just say what you really mean---"Women shouldn't be having sex except at the pleasure of men." Women's sexual enjoyment has always been feared, for whatever reason. Please don't ask me to rationalize this bullshit. It causes me to short-circuit.

Irresponsibility? PLEASE. Women are not children. We understand consequences. We do not need Daddy looking after us. We understand that prevention is best, and try to do so. We are not always successful. That's not a result of irresponsiblity, and it can happen for any number of reasons. None of which should be government issues.

All of this serves to devalue pregnant women, make them less human than the fetus within them. It's worth ruining a woman's life, in the name of Palin's 'culture of life'? Whose life?

I'm not thinking of fetuses at all. I'm thinking of the millions of women who have died in agony through self-induced abortions. And I'm thinking that their lives are worth just as much--if not more--than whatever is in their wombs.

Culture of Life, Sarah Palin. LIFE. How about the lives of all these yet-breathing women, whose lives you could potentially hold in your delicately manicured hands?

Are we simply not worth protecting?

Apparently not.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Thoughts on the Debate

I don't spend nearly enough time talking up Joe Biden, but after seeing him speak at Linvilla Orchards last month, and watching last night's debate, I just have two words:

Go, Joe!

Now Joe Biden has his flaws. His 'George of the Jungle'-esque habit of referring to himself in the third person, for example. His occasional tendency to 'lack discipline'. But I like him. He reminds me of the most empathetic, wise, funny man I ever knew--my grandfather, Jack Luke Sr.

I think Grampop would have said a lot of the same things, if he were still here. I know he sure as hell would have had things to say about the reverential references to the Reagan era! There would have been a lot more 'goddamns' in his statements, but the non-judgemental wisdom would still have been there.

I do regret he's not here, because I'd love to hear his reaction to Sarah Palin! (He had an incredible gift of being able to call bullshit in one witty, hilarious comment.) It would be a laugh we could all use. I've heard it said that I have a similar talent--and I plan on deploying it full-force from now till November 4th.

Biden is originally from Claymont, Delaware--a stone's throw from my house. Listening to him talk about his past, as well as his family tragedy, was one of the best moments in the debate. Maybe it's only because I grew up in the general area, and thus could connect more easily to his stories. (Equally amazing in a different way was when he tore down the 'maverick' label. I was in awe.)

As for Gov. Palin....well, most of my blog has been dedicated to exposing her for the ridiculous fraud she is. And last night...ugh. I needed a stiff drink after I was done watching her. No, it's not the accent--I actually sort of love her accent. Makes me think of Fargo. Only problem is, it's really hard not to crack up when actually confronted with a real person who talks like this.

I was just disappointed she didn't say 'donchaknow'. I was really hoping for that.

I will say that McCain prepped her well. They've created a My Fair Palin. I half-expected her to sing about dancing all night or possibly things being 'loverly'.

As it was, I could have cheerfully yanked her offstage via cane when her response to Joe Biden's emotional stories about his family was so inappropriately chipper. That was truly sickening. I have no idea why she was smiling so much--for someone who loves her kids so much (and I have no doubt she does, just for the record), you'd think she'd be more empathetic.

And that, ultimately, is why I could never vote for her. This woman does not have a shred of empathy for others. Not working mothers (so why so many of them keep saying they relate to her, I can't imagine--MY working mother doesn't!), not victims of rape, and not even pregnant teenagers who need HELP, not lectures on how they are damaged goods.

I don't give a shit if her heart is in the right place--her policies are not. Let's all take a moment to remember that George W. Bush's heart was also in the right place. Except, it wasn't any damn use to us working stiffs. Keep that in mind in the voting booth, peeps.